Dealing with the pain of betrayal

BetrayedOne of the most difficult things to handle graciously in life is betrayal. Someone we looked upon as a friend or confidant turned on us and, violated our trust and acted the enemy. Sometimes the betrayal comes from a colleague or business partner. It’s especially difficult when it’s a family member or spouse that betrays us. Believe it or not, betrayal can even come from a fellow Christian – a dear “brother” or “sister” – whose ethics should militate against them ever being the source of betrayal. Sometimes those who have been betrayed never recover from the experience!

When it happens to us it stings – it makes us angry… even furious! We want to retaliate! The pain we feel may even gush out into our prayers… In fact, there are even Psalms in the Bible that are referred to as “Imprecatory Psalms” (see parts of Psalm 12, 35, 58, 59, 69, 70, 83, 109, 137 and 140)! In fact, in my Bible reading yesterday and this morning two Psalms express in strong language the pain of betrayal and a cry for vindication (Psalms 54 and55)!

“Oh God, save me, by Your Name, and vindicate me by Your might! Oh God, hear my prayer give ear to the words of mouth! … Give ear to my prayer, O God, and hide not Yourself from my plea for mercy! Attend to me, and answer me! … For it is not an enemy who taunts me – then I could bear it; it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me – then I could hide from him! But it is you, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend! We used to take sweet counsel together; with God’s house we walked in the throng! … My companion stretched out his hand against his friends; he violated his covenant. His speech was smooth as butter, yet war was in his heart; his words were softer than oil, yet they were drawn swords!” (From Psalm 54-55) Betrayal!

And I would say it is better to vent your deep pain and anguish because of betrayal to the Lord in prayer rather than spread the poison of your anger to others.

But there is a better way, a higher standard, and a profound grace, that a Christ follower can find! It was expressed and exemplified by our Savior, Jesus Christ. He reached out to his betrayer, Judas, with an opportunity for forgiveness and grace. To those He came to redeem, but who instead nailed Him to a cross He prayed, “Father forgive them, they know not what they do!” (Luke 23:34) Steven, an early follower of Christ, followed His gracious example and fell to his knees as he was being stoned crying out, “Lord do not hold this sin against them!” (Acts 7:60) His example and our Lord’s so deeply impacted Saul, later to become Apostle Paul, that he later urged fellow Christians who would suffer severe persecution and betrayal, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them… Beloved, never avenge yourselves but leave it to the wrath of God… If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty give him something to drink… Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good!” (From Romans 12:14-21)

Oh Lord, I cry out to You… help me to live that way! Help me to follow Your example and the example of Your followers who down through the centuries have extended forgiveness for betrayal and love for persecution! Help me never to “be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good!”

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